Author Posts
For Better or Worse
FOR BETTER Food is comfort. Comfort in food. Maybe it’s just that time of year, but this has been my mantra for the past few weeks. With the end of summer vacation bringing a deluge of clues signaling the beginning of a new era, the threat of upheaval has been at the forefront. The natural […]
by 
SeeingRred
SeeingRred
Phases of My Depression
The Unburdening It has been four years. A series of highs and smashing lows precede me. I have not been able to eradicate them or outrun them. I currently am rising out of a 3-week bout of depression. I am still angry. The Soul-Searching This is what I know: I have lived with depression […]
by SeeingRred
SeeingRred
Motherhood
Have you ever experienced an embrace so strong and so full of love that it wrapped you in armor and sustained you? I did once. I remember it was a radiant afternoon. The sun shined so brightly it bounced off the red carpet, casting a luminous glow in the back room. But, the heavy gloom […]
by SeeingRred
SeeingRred
Unravelling
The Unburdening Sitting on my throne, I look up at the clock. 1:45 am, fifteen minutes before my cut off for bedtime and I am actually sleep-ready. How nice. Strange. It is then that it registers that my mind is quiet. No noise. No fluster. No pressure. Still activity, but there is clarity and calm […]
by SeeingRred
SeeingRred
Cacophony (Climactic Cry)
The Unburdening I remember a time, just after I had decided that it was time to heal myself once and for all, I started to feel something strange happening inside. It started as a hum, very faint and obscure. It might have gone unnoticed except for the fact that, with the protective weight coming off, […]
by SeeingRred
SeeingRred
The Cry
My eyes are still burning from the cry this morning. I clung on to M. and purposefully sunk between his arm and the pillow to muffle the unbridled screams that emerged. It wasn’t guttural. It emerged quietly out of my chest, peeled through my throat and tore out of my mouth clawing for freedom. It […]
by SeeingRred
SeeingRred
Rre-lease
Amidst laundry landscapes, I flop down, almost catatonic, comforted only by fading filaments of the evening sun. The minutes go by. My brain hurts. TV droning in the distant background and, except for an intermittent squeal of video game delights, the house is still. Two weeks now, and it should be better. But, it’s not. […]
by SeeingRred
SeeingRred
Brain Diggers
I don’t want to write today, but I NEED to write. I’ve been trying to ease into this…. allow the emotions to reveal themselves…. allow myself to feel. But, I know by the way I am doing it in short spurts that I am trying to control it. Is it because I’m afraid that if […]
by SeeingRred
SeeingRred