Am I wired for misery? Am I instinctively hell-bent on self-destruction?? I used to think I was. Life is better these days and things are looking up, I think, because I have found healthy ways to release and fill the voids with soulful activity. But, there are still those days… I know what I have been […]
SeeingRred
The Unburdening How is it possible that I am the happiest I have EVER been – my marriage feels so right, my boys are delightful, and I am ecstatic about winning my “weight” battle — yet I am still so darned angry??! It’s not all the time like it used to be, but it’s there… […]
SeeingRred
WRITING IS MY THERAPY. I only just voiced it and knew it to be true. Words stroking my hair, tender with curiosity. The mighty pen, a hand on my back holding me up. It has been the one constant support in my life, a warm blanket, my consoling hug. In the rare, quiet moments (as […]
SeeingRred
My basement is a place of horrors! Every inch filled with STUFF! My dear husband, M., and I literally had to make a winding path to manoeuver our way around. Stacks and stacks of literature — Martha Stewart mags (from when the internet was rather young and people still loved the feel of a good book), wedding […]
SeeingRred
KEEP TRACK OF YOUR PROGRESS as you overcome challenges, change routines and form new habits. Not only is it unbelievably rewarding to have evidence of your hard work, but in times when I felt stagnant and found myself at a plateau in my weight loss, I turned to the data I had documented on my […]
SeeingRred
The Unburdening Alone again. No words to cut the deafening silence. Nothing. Week upon week of seclusion. Emptiness. I am unacknowledged, invisible, non-existent. Worlds apart. No common ground. Missed understanding. Discomfort, distrust and disillusionment. To continue is agony. But, this is what we know. I live and breathe and...
SeeingRred
The Unburdening I had not seen her since June 2013, just prior to my youngest son being born. Soon after the birth, M. had assumed drop-off duty for our two older kids’ karate classes, so that I could spend some quality time with our new baby :). Now, February 2014, back into routines, I walked […]
SeeingRred
The Unburdening I’m reaching my climax. I’m at the highest of my lowest-of-the-lows. How do I know this? Because I have been here once before. Not more than 15 minutes ago, I was downstairs sitting alone in the dark, curled up in fetal position on my cream wing-back chair, my hands tightly interwoven, not in […]
SeeingRred
The Unburdening I’ve been struggling with words the past few weeks. They come slow, stunted and disjointed, and land spattered on the page half-dead. I know why. Their passage is obstructed by omnivorous emotions and persistent stressors in hot pursuit. Sweet cajoling nor promises of refuge could lure them out. Then, just when I almost […]
SeeingRred