Have you ever experienced an embrace so strong and so full of love that it wrapped you in armor and sustained you? I did once. I remember it was a radiant afternoon. The sun shined so brightly it bounced off the red carpet, casting a luminous glow in the back room. But, the heavy gloom […]
The Unburdening Sitting on my throne, I look up at the clock. 1:45 am, fifteen minutes before my cut off for bedtime and I am actually sleep-ready. How nice. Strange. It is then that it registers that my mind is quiet. No noise. No fluster. No pressure. Still activity, but there is clarity and calm […]
The Unburdening I remember a time, just after I had decided that it was time to heal myself once and for all, I started to feel something strange happening inside. It started as a hum, very faint and obscure. It might have gone unnoticed except for the fact that, with the protective weight coming off, […]
My eyes are still burning from the cry this morning. I clung on to M. and purposefully sunk between his arm and the pillow to muffle the unbridled screams that emerged. It wasn’t guttural. It emerged quietly out of my chest, peeled through my throat and tore out of my mouth clawing for freedom. It […]
Amidst laundry landscapes, I flop down, almost catatonic, comforted only by fading filaments of the evening sun. The minutes go by. My brain hurts. TV droning in the distant background and, except for an intermittent squeal of video game delights, the house is still. Two weeks now, and it should be better. But, it’s not. […]
I don’t want to write today, but I NEED to write. I’ve been trying to ease into this…. allow the emotions to reveal themselves…. allow myself to feel. But, I know by the way I am doing it in short spurts that I am trying to control it. Is it because I’m afraid that if […]
Am I wired for misery? Am I instinctively hell-bent on self-destruction?? I used to think I was. Life is better these days and things are looking up, I think, because I have found healthy ways to release and fill the voids with soulful activity. But, there are still those days… I know what I have been […]