SeeingRred
The Unburdening
There comes a time when a “fresh start” is not possible. You’ll know when that time is. It will be when you look at each other and all you feel is pain. It will be when the bad times you have spent together far outweigh the happy times. So much so, that for the first time the memory of those good times is not enough to get you through anymore. It will be when you know without a doubt that you have given all you have got, tried everything you can think of, and you don’t have the energy to work out another plan. It will be the moment you realize you can’t remember what you’ve been fighting for.
A “fresh start” implies that you can begin again and that everything is washed clean away. Put together with the words “forgive and forget,” it can be something amazingly transforming. But, it’s not just fluff. It means that you truly are able to move past the hurt, and the guilt and the blame. It means that even though you’ve gone astray, you are still a team with a common goal. It means that you will WORK together to change the things that need to be changed. But, if after a time, you have seen over and over again that after each and every “fresh start” that the debris and the residue remain, and that the level of toxicity has built up to a point where you can’t breathe and you feel like you are choking in this environment you’ve created together, you must accept that there are no more fresh starts for you.
The future demands that you build your own foundations, find your own strengths, and forge your own paths. And hopefully, you will find a way to progress forward in harmonious, parallel lines. So, to be clear, if there is any movement forward (together) the question won’t be, “Can we have a fresh start?” It will be, “Where do we go from here?”
The Soul-Searching
I am not good at relationships (at least not being in them). Perhaps I have never been. Too afraid to let people in and, at the same time, afraid to say too much. In truth, I have always been at the periphery of where I want to be.
The Denouement
My friend LC recently told me that I should never give up on treasured friendships (unless it’s toxic, we both agree) and to keep reaching out. She suggested that I rethink what is in my mind. Perhaps the problems and worries tied to the relationships were based on presuppositions and misconceptions rather than shared truth. During our conversation, she advised me to give it another try and if, in time, a friendship must be released, it simply means that it makes room for new friendships. Then she gave me a hug. 😊
Lucy
❤️
You are good at relationships because you make people that relate to you feel good and understood.
And on your way to becoming your own best friend, you will see what others see in you ❤️
Come over for more hugs any time
SeeingRred
Thank you, Lucy. I have loved your sincerity, candidness, and your ability to laugh at your own quirks right from the very first day we talked. It caught me off guard, and I thought, “How refreshing!” In the time we have known each other, I have learned much from you… Many thanks. As for the hugs, don’t mind if I do! 🙂