SeeingRred
Survivor
Depression is a dark and dirty word. It’s that age-old thing no one dares speak about. It’s what lurks in the periphery, casting eternal shadows and stills the heartbeat of its victims in perpetual limbo. Inflicted and conflicted, we are the undead. Here in body, not in spirit. Shrouded in protective darkness, fearful of the light.
Mine was a zombie life. I went through the motions of existence without ever feeling truly ALIVE. I managed to go under the radar from even the most loving of observers. They never noticed that the skin of my lips spread wide yet were devoid of any happiness, and that my laughter escaped and just fell flat. When they saw my eyes opened wide with excitement, it was simply a reflection of their own effervescence.
I played with these positive emotions, always feeling that they never BELONGED to me. They were foreign. And, I longed for them. Their denial caused anger, resentment, and envy. Yet, their mere existence offered a glimmer of hope. Ironically, it was this personal torture that turned out to be my saving grace.
HOPE. It’s the access point. Hold on to it and do not, for the life of you, let go! You don’t have to fully believe right now. I didn’t. But, I’m here to let you know that it’s possible to fight depression …. and WIN.
Zombie no more.
archaeologist
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