SeeingRredIt’s a tricky situation for everyone right now, a new territory, and both white people and black people (and all those in-between) are trying to figure it out. For the first time, thanks to technology and social media we, on a global scale, are all being forced to acknowledge inequities and injustices that have been ignored and denied for far too long. No one really knows what the right thing to say is. We’re not going to get it right immediately. The truth is we can expect to say the wrong things, to be criticized and to be judged. I know I’m going to feel the backlash for my words and for the things I choose to post. But, I’m choosing to do it anyway, because I know the intention behind it is to not only finally voice what I feel, but to get people talking about things that have been silenced and misunderstood. And, I’m okay with that, because I know my heart.
I see that a lot of confusion exists around #BlackLivesMatter… to support or not support it. And, questions arising because if we support it, does it mean that we are doing the exact opposite and making the black race superior or more important? To make it clear, this hashtag does not mean that other people’s lives do not matter. Of course they do. No one has ever said that…. probably because there was no need to. White lives have always mattered. I’m not sure where or when exactly it happened, but the problem is that somewhere along the line, it became the popular, accepted belief that white lives mattered MORE. Historically, it has played out on so many levels – – ownership (of land, of home, of entire races of people); power and authority; the glorification of whiteness (and the demonization of everything black); white privilege; a socially imbibed morality (the law) that ensured that the playing fields would never be level; and, just as scarring, the internalization and acceptance of the belief by the oppressed themselves.
#BlackLivesMatter arose a few years back in 2013 as a direct response to a white police officer, who was acquitted of all charges relating to the shooting of a 17 year old, Trayvon Martin, who happened to be deemed suspicious-looking while innocently walking home one night. This incident, amongst a backdrop of many other horrific ones, sparked a public outcry for justice by the black community and its supporters, who were tired of being treated as less than human, of being targeted, of being tossed aside and forgotten. #BlackLivesMatter was an emotional protest against all of the people standing in positions of authority (police/lawyers/judge/politicians etc.) that treated this case (and thousands of others) as though black lives didn’t matter.
#BlackLivesMatter was not and is not about the undermining of other races. The message asks that, right now, in our current times when there is irrefutable evidence that egregious acts against black people/minorities are still being carried out in disproportionate amounts relative to white people and that systemic racism does, in fact, still exist, can the plight of the black community be highlighted, for once, and be given the respect and time it has long been waiting for, and deserves?
#BlackLivesMatter was/is about joining forces to raise awareness of the unquestionable racism and discrimination against black people (police brutality/racial profiling/incarceration to name a few), and give voice to all members of the black community who have been silenced by violence and oppression. It is a demand that all those who use the system to mistreat, dehumanize and discriminate against all people and those who benefit from it (white privilege), as well as the system itself, finally be put under the microscope and be held accountable.
Having said that, the reason using All Lives Matter is problematic and evokes hostility is because it was crafted to undermine the validation that black lives do matter. From its inception, All Lives Matter are weaponized words that were intentionally used to dismiss the claim of one race and, once again, pit the races against each other. Put another way, ALL lives includes black lives. So, until we make changes in this oppressive system that governs us all, acknowledge how we benefit and are hurt by white privilege, and put compassion and equality into our daily practice, until then it is inaccurate and counterproductive to say All Lives Matter.
I’ve seen the onslaught of race-related posts on social media. I have read and participated in discussions, trying to figure out what everyone is thinking. It is quite a challenge we face … to be forced to look/feel/question/rethink what we think we know. But, I think we can at least agree that we are all wading through a precarious No Man’s Land, both sides coming together blindly to hash it out. It is scary and uncomfortable. But, I do believe it’s possible for everyone to walk away (or grasp on to one other), with our self-respect intact, if we speak our truths. Like in any misunderstanding or disagreement, behind the finger-pointing and blame, is an inherent need for validation, and the desire to be seen and heard. We are not anywhere close to coming to an agreement, let alone resolution, but we’ve started the conversation.
What I’ve learned recently is that there are a lot of white people out there who may never open their hearts or their minds. I can’t worry about them. It’s the other people, YOU, who I’m thinking about right now. From what I’m hearing, you’re feeling lost and confused, not sure how to act. You’re trying to do the “right” things and are being told you’re wrong and even “part of the problem.” All I want to ask of you is that, despite feeling shamed or silenced, Do Not Stop Talking. We’re trying to make big change and heal on a mass level. It’s going to take insurmountable time and effort, and it’s going to hurt. We each need to acknowledge and take responsibility for our actions and inactions and just keep speaking out, no matter our stance. Silence is the only thing that will bring the Process of Change and Healing to a halt.
So, what can you do?
- Keep talking… to your friends, family, your kids.
- Do research. Learn more about Black History, the Civil Rights Movement, colonization and its impact around the world.
- Find a forum with representation from different sides and/or seek out persons you feel comfortable talking to.
- Ask questions (no matter how sensitive or excruciating).
- Listen with an open heart and mind and be prepared to see others and the world differently.
-Tell me about your experiences. Let me know what it was like to live your life. What were the defining moments in your life?
-What do you want for your life? What do you see as your limitations?
-What do you see when you look at me? (both sides)
6. Ask yourself how you fill in the blanks and make sense of the other person’s story.
(Herein may lie some of the answers we seek.)
7. Speak your truth.
My (white) friends, I am asking you to do only what I ask of myself. Nothing more. Nothing less. But, in order for true equality to exist, we need to do it together. You are an integral part of the solution and we know we can’t do it without you.